


How Would You Know?

by memesf0r0ne



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M, they're dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 22:06:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20071339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memesf0r0ne/pseuds/memesf0r0ne
Summary: Matt the Radar Technician is...not very bright.





	How Would You Know?

“A buddy of mine saw Kylo Ren take his shirt off in the shower and he said Kylo Ren had an 8-pack. That Kylo Ren was ripped.”

Hux scoffed, overhearing the loud boasts of the newest incompetent employee. Matt, a radar technician, wasn’t in any of the records― but Kylo Ren said that Matt was approved. Probably a relative or something; they were remarkably similar in stature. Ren’s relative seemed a bit too much obsessed with him, though.

“That simply isn’t true. He may have some muscle, but he isn’t  _ shredded _ . He’s a soft man,” Hux spoke up.

The new employee became flustered, and he turned around to face Hux. A large portion of the lunchroom became attentive to this brewing tension, seemingly between a lowly tech guy and one of the highest-ranking generals in the First Order. “Oh yeah? Well, how would  _ you _ know, H― G-General?”

To preserve his sanity, Hux lowered his voice before saying, “Because the amount of times I have kriffed Ren is higher than you can  _ count _ .”

This was still overheard by quite a few people, and Matt, poor thing, went redder than Kylo Ren’s lightsaber. He decided to remain discreet by sending a message directly to Hux’s mind.

I THOUGHT WE WOULDN’T TALK ABOUT THAT.

Hux’s eyes widened a hair in concealed realization, before rising and simply commanding, “Matt, I need a word with you.”

“Matt” actually looked slightly scared now. Hux smirked at him.

"Not so bold now, are you?" Hux teased, looking both ways before pulling Matt into a side storage room. He left the room dark. First off, he pulled at the blond wig until it fell off, and Ren's dark hair cascaded over his shoulders. Hux looked him in the eye, before shoving him into a wall and unzipping the top of his radar technician jumper.

"I'm pretty sure the others heard you," Ren growled, then whimpered as Hux pressed a knee into his groin.

"Is that a bad thing?" Hux asked. "We can't keep this on the down-low forever." In his hesitation, Hux's knee was withdrawn. Ren missed it, so he reached for the ginger's waist and pulled him closer.

"Mmm," Ren muttered into Hux's shoulder.

"That isn't an answer."

"We don't need one," Ren murmured, looking over Hux's shoulder with wide eyes. Lieutenant Mitaka was standing in the open doorway, just about to look up. The small man said, "General Hux, what are you doing in here? Your tracker―"

Ren slammed the door shut with the force, and he heard Mitaka squeak in surprise. Going back to what they were doing, Hux moved his neck to give Ren and opportunity, and the Supreme Leader gladly took it.

Hux moaned obscenely just as Mitaka reopened the door. All three froze. Ren had one leg hiked up with Hux's hand under his thigh, and the General had his other hand on the wall. As he stood still in shock, Mitaka dropped his datapad and it shattered.

He was the first to speak. "Um, I'm sorry, General, I...sorry," he blustered.

"I'll pay for your datapad!" Hux said desperately as the door was shut again.

The two owners of the Finalizer paused. Ren glanced into Hux's face.

"He kinda killed the mood, didn't he?"

"Yeah."

Disappointed, Ren untangled himself and bent down to reach for his wig.

"Maybe tomorrow?"

Some mixture of a grin and a grimace crossed Ren's face.

"Below the collar, right?" Hux demanded. Ren laughed nervously.

"Fine. I might have to punish you later," Hux said. That went straight to Ren's groin.


End file.
